My stupid goldfish

Grumpy - just been cleaned out

I have a goldfish.  We have had it for around 10 years - the usual scenario - daughter wanted a pet, so we thought a goldfish would be ideal.  After about a day of cooing daughter lost interest.  You would have thought we would have learned from the rabid hamster incident, but thats another story!

So obviously I took over the responsibility of feeding and cleaning out the damn goldfish.  Now I know it sounds crazy but I genuinely believe the goldfish to moody!  What do I mean by that?  Well, when I have forgotten to feed it, it splashes the water to get my attention when I am in the room.  And when I clean it out - which can sometimes not be until the tank is so green you can't see the fish - it really gets a moody on!  I think it likes living is stagnant, green water as the pump is so clogged up with fish poop it has stopped working!

When I am ironing it sits with its nose right up against the glass and stays that way until I have finished - which isn't very long as I only iron when I need something ironed, I am not one for standing around doing hours and hours of the stuff.

Over the years we have tried giving it a friend, but unfortunately each one has been bullied to death or just blatantly murdered by my stupid goldfish.  I am convinced it is not actually a goldfish but some alien being using its body for cover.

It is blind in one eye - although I am not entirely sure - its quite hard to test this - but it has one orange eye and one black eye - that's all the evidence I have.  It is way too big for its tank (around 5 inches), but I am afraid if I got a bigger tank it would grow some more and that would be scary!  It isn't gold either - more pink!

But for all its ugliness and its moodiness I do have a soft spot for it and will miss it if it ever decides to go to fish heaven.

It is a constant reminder that we none of us are perfect and we can only strive to take care of ourselves, respect each other and accept people warts and all!

Water, Water, Water - getting healthy!!

Okay just a quick entry concerning water.  I hate the stuff unless I am swimming in it!  But as part of my new healthy living regime I realise I have to consume lots more water.  I am always in a state of dehydration - I don't drink enough (water that is!) and I know my poor body has suffered over the years because of it.

So this week I have made a determined effort to drink a litre of water a day.  Aaaargh!  Its been hard, but I am doing it.  I have also been going to the loo at least 50 times a day which is annoying!

I have it on good authority that over time if I keep this up it will ultimately assist in losing weight and my complexion will improve.  I know they are right, but ......

Does my bum look big in this?

Well that’s a question I have never asked of myself or of others.  I am from the “I’m not bothered” brigade when it comes to my weight and how I look.  Don’t get me wrong – I do wash and I’m not massively overweight, but I have never been too conscious about these things. I go on how I feel – if my belt is feeling a bit tight I adjust my food intake accordingly – if I feel like not wearing make-up then I don’t (not that I wear that much anyway).  Some women and men I know would rather die than go out with no make-up.

I am seriously so unaware of these things that I recently dyed my hair – from chocolate brown to blonde.  And as anyone knows who has done something similar there is a moment in the long process when your hair becomes bright orange.  My daughter was amazed that I dare step foot out of the house during this stage.  When we went out together she made me wear a head scarf (something I had never done before, but looked quite cool – so may wear again – usually headgear and me are not suited at all).  Anyway, I couldn’t understand why she was so concerned about what other people think (but then again she is 17 – what can you do?) - wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed for me or for herself - probably both.

But things have changed.  I had an operation last year which involved stomach surgery.  Together with being of a certain age I have found that things are moving around independently from each other where they didn’t before.  I have found weight gain rate disproportionate to what I am used to and don’t know how to react to it.

So I made a decision to go on a “diet”.  I have never in my life ever considered going on a diet.  Diets to me are the evil prescription of large corporations and the media selling you products that don’t work and make you feel inadequate and insignificant in the world.

I still feel this way and therefore won’t be drawn into going on “this plan” or “that plan” or doing the Zumba or whatever.  The only indulgence I have “sold” into is my Wii Fit.  Let me explain myself a little here – I hate gyms, I hate aerobic classes – basically anywhere that has more than me in the room I find intimidating and soul destroying.

You see I am a clumsy cow – uncoordinated, no rhythm and the trouble with this is – although I don’t mind my stumbling around – effin’ and jeffin’ and generally moving in all four directions at a time – those around me find it scary, unnerving and upsets their routines.  Who can blame them?  So it’s best for me and the world to remain within the confines of my own home.

Anyway – I started this new regime this week.  This is day 3.  I am not going to bore you with what I am eating, etc.  But it might be fun to bore you with how it is affecting me emotionally and physically.

Firstly, I am weaning myself off chocolate and crisps.  Crisps are my downfall.  I could quite happily forego all types of food and live off crisps.  But I am sure that I will die of a heart attack by the time I am 50 – so wouldn’t be a good idea.  I have done this before so I am prepared for the headaches that go along with this.  So watch this space.

My very flimsy plan is to test the old theory of healthy eating together with regular exercise should work.  How very novel!  Well we’ll see.

Are you supporting your team?

I have been on Twitter for about a year now and follow a lot of football fans, predominantly Arsenal fans, but others too.

I support Arsenal – I don’t have a season ticket, I am what you might call an armchair fan.  So I don’t consider myself an Arsenal expert – I have my opinions, I get angry and upset when things go wrong and get euphoric when things go well.  Sometimes I find it so stressful I can’t watch them play at all.

I have been an avid football fan since the 1970s – my love affair with football started with the Chelsea v Leeds FA Cup final in 1970 (yes I am that old!).  I don’t remember the game as such (I was only 5!), but I do remember the atmosphere in the house.  FA Cup final day was always a big event in our house.  We always picked a team to back if our team wasn’t in the final and we spent the whole day winding each other up.  Do you remember It’s a Knock Out on cup final day? 

My father was and is an avid Coventry City fan and it went without saying that we children would do the same – ironically all the girls supported Coventry, but my brothers supported other teams.  I have a lasting memory of my dad coming back from the 1987 cup final when Coventry beat Spurs!  He had gone on his own, but came back very drunk and a changed man!! There’s only one Gary Mabbutt!!!

In the 80s and even into the 90s girls weren’t supposed to like football.  My favourite pub game was listening to the “men” discussing football and then seeing their faces when I showed off my footballing knowledge.  They hated it!!

I love football – wherever it is being played and by whom.  I could easily stop and watch a game in the local park and often do.

I support football.

Am I a grown up yet?

I keep waiting for that eureka moment that tells me that I am a grown up.  All through my childhood all I heard was “when you grow up” or “you’ll understand when you grow up” or “do you know what you want to do when you grow up”.

Well I am still waiting for that “when” to become “now”.

I am surrounded by people who consider themselves to be "grown up" making ill-thought out decisions and immature statements that would sound childish in the playground.

I guess forgetting your childhood or deciding your childhood was different from what it really was may be a pre-cursor for growing up!

I remember my childhood, warts and all!  But when did my childhood end?  They say at 18 you are "grown up".  I certainly wasn't.  In my twenties, even though I worked, I was probably more badly behaved than when I was a teenager as I had money and could drink legally. 

So please if you could let me know I would appreciate it!

Being young is nothing new!

Generation after generation there has always been the “disaffected” element amongst young people.  And each generation of “adults” have asked themselves the same question – what do we do about it?

The answer to this question is something of a holy grail in the sense that so far it has not been answered. 

In today’s 24-hour news and social networking society the reports of unruly behaviour by the few is brought into stark reality more often and more dramatically.

The 24-hour news medium is constantly looking for stories to fill endless hours of footage and some of these stories “back in the day” would never have made headlines in the newspapers let alone top stories on the news!

Many solutions are always being suggested, debated and often dismissed as being unachievable, expensive and too complicated.  Surely there are simple solutions, quick fixes for long term engagement out there?

Consumerism plays a huge part in shaping people in today’s society.  Right from the cradle we are told how to dress, what to listen to, how to speak, what to eat.  But this is nothing new.  

Surely education plays a huge part in shaping people – today it’s all about passing exams.  Students are “trained” and drilled to pass exams.  Ultimately surely education should be about an end gain – employment.

Surely being a civilised person comes from being heard and from listening.  It comes from working with others to achieve a goal.  Sweeping your side of the street and helping others to sweep theirs should they need it.

Simple? Right?

Mob Mentality - No social message

Living in today's UK is tough.  We are being squeezed and squeezed by the rich minority who think they know what's best for us.  The media always looking to fill 5 minutes on a 24 hour stream.  Relaying messages that are often bias or worse still chosen for the "ratings" factor.

I have spent the morning listening to the radio and watching the news and it staggers me that we are being fed such knee jerk, judgemental opinions of DJs, newscasters and journalists who in all honesty have no idea.

I wasn't in Tottenham last night, I don't live in Tottenham, I have absolutely no idea how this kicked off and I am sure I never will.  The images I am being shown on TV are surely a snapshot, a small window of a wider world that is kept from view.  But I do know how things can quickly escalate from something very innocuous into hysteria.  The domino effect, Chinese Whispers, misunderstandings, not understanding, a changed word here, or missed out can change the meaning.  I don't profess to understand the human psyche but you don't have to be a psychiatrist to see how things can and do get out of control.  Once you start its sometimes difficult to know when to stop.

I hear about disenfranchised youth, police out of control, society breaking down, cuts, taxes, squeeze, no way out.  These are symptoms of a massive problem this country has.  It depresses the hell out of me.

Wake up Britain, take control of yourself - stop being lead by the nose by the few.  Its ours so take it.